Worst Thai restaurant ever

Just when we think we've seen all the bad Thai restaurants, we come upon Cafe du Bangkok in Hallowell, ME. This place pushed the limits, we have had it with this shitty rendition of what they call Thai food.

 

Thai restaurants usually have similar decor. They all have photos of Thailand, weird patterns under glass table tops and many unnecessary, kitschy ornaments littered throughout the restaurant. This establishment is no different with it's glass on top of plaid cloth. There was a table in the corner with all the linen laying on it; unfolded and messy.

 

It's a shame because they are situated right on the Kennebec River and have amazing views. 

 

Too bad our views were torn up carpet and really dirty heat vents. It's not very pleasant seeing a restaurant in shambles when you're about to eat there. The reviews were all excellent and people were raving about how delicious it was. We have learned not to listen to others because they have no idea what they're talking about. If this is ok for anyone, they are wrong. 

 

We started with a drink, simple beer and wine. I asked for a Thai wine, listed on the menu and the waitress said "plum wine"? She had no idea what was on the menu and couldn't answer any questions. At least the drinks arrive and you can't mess that up.

We decided to get the lunch special which is a bento box and also a noodle dish. The bento box came with a soup, salad, spring rolls, an entree, and a 1/2 orange. Since I don't eat meat, we asked if they could substitute the pork spring roll with vegetable. The chef came over and said no problem and that he would make the soup vegetarian as well. That was nice, but he was also the same guy doing some random business in the corner of the restaurant.

 First came the soup.

 

This was the worst soup we ever had. A small ramakin filled with water flavored with some dry garlic. Floating inside was a small piece of broccoli, a carrot, and a piece of cabbage. What a sad sight and it tasted as bad as it looks. It only got worse from there. 

 

So clockwise from the top left we have a "garden salad" with carrot shavings. This salad was 2 pieces of the inside part of iceberg lettuce. There was no dressing and nothing else but the shaved carrot on top. Fail. Next is brown rice, which should have been white rice, but I guess vegetarian means you must have brown rice. The rice also got doused in some of the curry sauce and was getting soggy. Next is a half an orange, cut, rearranged, and placed back in backwards. Thanks for handling my food so much. To the left of that was our entree pick of green curry with bamboo shoots, carrots, green beans, and tofu. The sauce lacked any kind of flavor and the consistency was terrible. You can tell the vegetables are from a Sysco truck and taste old. The spring rolls were a grease crunch with a sweet, unappetizing sauce to accompany them.

We felt that not only was this a horrific culinary display, but also an insult to traditional Thai food everywhere.

 

Drunken Noodle

Stir-fried flat rice noodles with Thai Chili Basil Sauce, assorted vegetables, and shrimp. Take note of the tremendous superfluous garnish that nobody every eats! This presentation is stale, discolored kale and a piece of carved out carrot. To think that manpower went into making those stupid things is ludicrous, not to mention a huge waste. This noodle dish lacked flavor and only had 4 shrimp and there were hardly any noodles. There were also huge chunks of onion that was not very appealing. Overall the dish was terrible, service bad, and the experience left us with a very bad taste in our mouths. Why do these crimes against gastronomy occur? Do these Thai people think Americans want the food this way? Or do they really suck that bad at cooking?

We could certainly forgive a lot of things if the food was excellent, like the decor and perhaps the service. The cleanliness of the restaurant is as important as the food quality. This place missed on all accounts. Epic fail and complete disappointment.

And why does every Asian restaurant have a Pepsi sponsored sign with their name on it? Does Pepsi agree to give them a free sign if they use their generic advertising for their restaurant brand? I wonder if that's the way the restaurant signs are like in Thailand. I'm going to bet on no.

I don't think we'll be eating Thai around these parts anymore, unless it's Long Grain in Camden. They actually know how to do it right there and it's delicious.