The black AMEX

Wednesday day shift at the restaurant. 2 60-something men sit down at my table and order TAP.

me: are you ready to order?
men: yes
man 1: I'll have the turkey salad, no avocado, i hate avocado.
me: no problem sir.
man 2: I'll have my avocado, but i don't want beets.
me: sounds good gentleman, would you like to start with an appetizer to share? (must have at least one upsell tactic, a bill with no liquor and no appetizers? what will the company think of me then, how will i be scored on their reports?)

the meal goes smoothly and they end up getting decaf double espressos. what the hell is a decaf espresso anyway? isn't the whole point of an espresso for the caffeine, the immense amount in the little cup? Whatever, i put that order in and send the standard free cookies, which suck right now.

me: can i get you gentleman anything else?
men: just the bill.
(he notions for me to stay and wait for the card -

A BLACK TITANIUM AMEX
"The Black Card is reserved for the wealthiest and most privileged. Members of this mysterious group pursue unique access to extraordinary experiences. They travel often and stay at luxurious resorts. They are offered tickets to sold-out shows, games, and concerts. Arriving at events in chauffeured limousines, they receive advance seating in the finest sections. Owners of an American Express Black Card can obtain nearly anything that they desire by calling their personally assigned concierge. (http://creditcards.lovetoknow.com/American_Express_Black_Card)

The bill was $40. After seeing the bill and the black card, my coworker said that the man would give me $40, a 100% tip. I thought he was crazy and predicted that I would get the standard 20%, $8, especially since he has the prestige of the black card. Also considering their meal went flawless and they had a good time

me: thank you gentleman, have an excellent day and happy holidays
men: thank you, you too.

I pick up the signed copy of bill and go into the hutch to see what the verdict was. When I saw the result of my efforts, coupled with the "prestige" of this card, I began to hysterically laugh. And not that chuckle kind, but the outright loud, uncontrollable laughter. I see my coworker who predicted the 100% tip, rounding the corner with a grotesque look on his face (quite normal for the servers here, it's just impossible to hold it in sometimes) and wave him over. I open the book and he sees the result, $6. I guess the $2500 annual fee leaves no room for extra spending, especially once you reach the MINIMUM spending of $250,000 for that year.

Ah, times are rough and I guess even the rich have to make some cutbacks, like tipping. Thanks assholes.